Sunday, September 18, 2005 @10:53 PM
DELUSIVE DETACHMENT
(A Simple Solitary Life)
It is done.
It is over.
Now I have time to
catch up on some reading
and watch the most recent
movies on dvd.
And I'll be able to
spend more time
with the friends I've not seen
as often as I used to.
And I'm free to write
or take a nap
or play the stereo
whenever I choose.
I don't want to waste my time
writing long e-mails at night
or waiting for the phone to ring
or going to the walking path or
that certain spot at the forest park.
But sometimes I'll hear a certain song
or see something that reminds me
that memories are not easily forgotten,
and the price of the emotion they bring,
some thoughts are hard to vanish from the mind,
and the heart sometimes never lets go.
There is a tiny trace of release, of relief
but it is overpowered by the
overwhelming ache of a broken heart
as I'm adding yet another brick
to the internal wall.
I try to push away the constant thoughts,
the wanting, the need, the love,
replace it with numb calmness
and dead oblivion.
It is haunting standing here
in the eye of the storm,
and I know these emotions
aren't through with me yet.
The world seems a little more
distant today.Everything is different
and hard and empty.
It is done.
It is over.
Goodnight!!!!